Finding Beetletrunk

Easily one of my most favorite things about being a parent is being exposed to products aimed towards children. I have always been a big fan of children's shows, books, and toys. Some might say that I have some issue with wanting to regain a lost part of my own childhood, but my childhood was fantastic. I have lots of great memories. Maybe thats why I love this stuff so much. The great thing is, as an adult I approach these items, shows, books, etc with a critical, hopefully "educated" eye, and truly give them the analysis they deserve. I have always planned to do more analysis of the bizarre childrens items that find their way into our house, but always lacked the appropriate format to do it in. But here, I can finally tear these muthas up.

I now present to you, one of my favorite works of literature:



Oh boy. This one is a doozy. Here you can truly judge a book by it's cover. I do use the word "book" lightly, as this is really more of a loose collection of factually incorrect statements, poor grammar, and confusing pictures. But boy do I love it. This book did not enjoy a heavy rotation in the bedtime reading routine. Neither of my kids seem overly fond of it for anything more than chewing on the corner. Which is not always a good indication of the value of the book. For instance Goodnight Moon is also chewed up, and I'm sure that won the Nobel Bedtime Peace Prize in the 50's.

On the cover of Fluffy Bunnies you are treated to the site of a slightly stocky orange rabbit with inky black eyes standing upright somehow, holding an enormous carrot, which he will presumably eat at some point later in the story. Could this be Fluffy Bunnies' attempt at foreshadowing...?


Let's just dive in. Fluffy Bunnies pulls no punches as we are launched right into the middle of the action. "See the fluffy bunnies. They love to play all day". Yep, they certainly do. Although on the left page it looks like the brown and black bunnies are just trying to find a way out of the book. To be honest, I don't blame them. The right page introduces us to some factual information about bunnies. They come in lots of colors. Heck, some are white and black and brown. Lots. I would like the right page more if I take it out of the context of the left page. But I will be fair to Fluffy Bunnies and concede that they are making the most use of their pages.



We are again treated to National Geographic like reporting as we learn more about how the bunnies live. We never stop and think about where the bunnies live, just things like "what color are they?" "how fluffy are they?". But to truly understand we need to know where they make their houses. Luckily "FB" is here with the scoop. It turns out that bunnies have the following housing options available:

1. Farms - What we don't know if it is a farm that the bunnies are running, or if they are just boarding there, or what. Hopefully "Fluffy Bunnies: Advanced" will give us more detail.

2. Tree trunks - The pic shows a bunny up in a tree. I would love to see how the bunny got up there. I could be wrong, and I guess the book is the expert here, but I never figured bunnies were good climbers. I have to be wrong.

3. Long Holes in the woods. This one seems plausible enough. I guess. I'm just glad we don't have soo many options as to where they could live that we could possibly become confused.

Farms, Trunks, Holes. Thats it.


Nothing really earth-shattering on this page. It comes as no revelation that they have strong feet and jump far. However their cuteness rating skyrockets when you realize that their "little noses twitch" due to their long whiskers. I'm also betting that the black bunny gets those butterflies. I think Wesley Snipes in Passenger 57 said it best: "Always bet on black".


Ahhhh. Finally the mystery of the cover, REVEALED. The big orange upright bunny does end up eating the carrot. Or praying over it, or gagging on it. I can't really tell. I also can't get over the feeling that their is some subliminal messaging taking place here. Could Fluffy Bunnies be trying to trick our children into eating vegetables? Daily? Apparently they also conveniently decided to leave out bunnies also eat their young on occasion. Perhaps that is a side of effect from when they don't "eat their carrots every day!" I say that is a cautionary tale missed.


Oh shit.

4. Houses - Apparently they can also live in houses. Like we do. In houses.

The wheels have officially come off on the last page of the book. All semblance of order is lost. We are tossed another possibility of where bunnies could live, in a seemingly weak attempt to get the children to identify with the rodent eating out of the bowl on the floor. The last "sentence" on the left page seems to be a plug by the Rabbit Lobby, to get people to adopt more bunnies as pets. I guess they make good pets. Not great pets, but adequate.

The feeling of sadness, nay desolation on the last page of the book is palpable. Not only does the body language of the black bunny indicate an unwillingness to say goodbye, but the last statement: "Bye, bye, bunnies. I hope I see you again!" Is really a cold reminder of life's uncertainties. I mean, sure, we'd like to think that there will be more opportunities to see bunnies. But what if this is it? What if this the only chance we get? I could be wrong, maybe I misinterpreted it, maybe Fluffy Bunnies is instructing Carpe Diem. Let those (or that) which we care about know how much we care. "I hope I see you again". Seize the moment, never give up hope, eat your carrots. daily.

Thank YOU fluffy bunnies. I know I will see you again someday.

One of you is in luck... Buy it!
No, this is not MY copy. To get my copy, you will have to pry it out of my cold dead fingers.