Dolla Dolla Bills Y'all!!!! pt. 1
Posted by s2 | | Posted On Friday, September 11, 2009 at 8:11 PM
Come one! Come all! Bring your paychecks, bring your savings, bring that big jar of coins you keep under your bed! Come with me on an adventure to the second best place to take a huge wad of singles (i'll let you guess the first). Bring your hand sanitizer, bring your tetanus shots, bring your pepper spray, because things are about to get wild.
Twenty bucks can go a loooong way here. This was a legit "everything is a dollar" type of place, not a bait and switch $5 $10 item store. Nope, everything in here was exactly ONE DOLLAR. I like to walk in and go right to the middle of the store and do a 360 degree turn, just to take it all in before I get "to work". Just soaking in all of the possibilities. I just don't see how can they possibly sell such great stuff for only a dollar! You could legitimately do all of your shopping here. They have everything from health care products to perishable foods. Under garments to dvds. Greeting cards to toys. Everything. So before browsing the shelves for the "must have" dolla items, I made sure to charge iPhone's battery so we wouldnt have a repeat of the 2nd hand store fiasco.
The hair and seemingly scalp all over this thing indicates that someone knew their bloody work, and performed it effectively. I would have called the cops, but I don't like to get involved.
Q: So is it a Million "dollar brands" or "Million Dollar" brands?
A: Neither.
Twenty bucks can go a loooong way here. This was a legit "everything is a dollar" type of place, not a bait and switch $5 $10 item store. Nope, everything in here was exactly ONE DOLLAR. I like to walk in and go right to the middle of the store and do a 360 degree turn, just to take it all in before I get "to work". Just soaking in all of the possibilities. I just don't see how can they possibly sell such great stuff for only a dollar! You could legitimately do all of your shopping here. They have everything from health care products to perishable foods. Under garments to dvds. Greeting cards to toys. Everything. So before browsing the shelves for the "must have" dolla items, I made sure to charge iPhone's battery so we wouldnt have a repeat of the 2nd hand store fiasco.
A needed touch of class.
The first item up for bid - a mini porcelain plate "decoration" depicting of all things - a hippo. Mini hippo plate could be used for lots of things like...change, cigarette butts, or....hippo...things? I dunno. Who cares. It has a freaking hippo on it! And it's porcelain! Porcelain means fancy/expensive.
"Most" dogs....
Halloween was in full effect at the Dolla Store, there were plenty of gruesome toys/items with blood and guts that left me nauseous. What i needed was visual sorbet. What I got however is the above item. Never been much of a pet person, but I think that even Michael Vick would have a hard time subjecting a pet to this sort of cruely. Why PETA isnt protesting dolla bills right now, is a mystery. They certainly engineered alot of flexibilty into this product though. Not only is the neck adjustable, and easy to put on, but somehow it's fashioned so that even a cat can wear it. Genius. My only regret is not looking through these, as I see that there are different costumes. Notice "Clown" is under this one. Damn, i bet "Clown" was really good.
Next up was one of my all-time faves: the toy aisle. Kids are by far the easiest customer to please, I was hoping to turn the trip around with finding some great knock-off brand toys, since I was still reeling from the doggie costumes. I hoped for a pick me up. What I got was:
All 3 dimensions included...barely.
When the toy is too big for the package, just break it, put the excess piece in there loose and call it a "3-D Puzzle". Half the fun is putting it together! And again, when it falls off, and again and again. Unless you buy special Puzzle Paste (glue). It's in aisle 4 and guess what? It only costs a dollar!
These B'low.
I'm fairly certain that these were deemed toxic to children like 20 years ago and removed from store shelves. But thats the beauty of this place! Rare (discontinued), hard to find (illegal) toys and foods still have a home. Like the island of misfit toys. I'm still looking for a Charlie-in-the-Box btw.
1,2,3,4, I declare a foam war!
Usually when you see a large group of items in a cardboard box, you think "bargain!" but I don't go to the dollar store for 2nd hand items. I go to Goodwill for that. I demand brand new...and these have obviously been used...
Exhibit A
The hair and seemingly scalp all over this thing indicates that someone knew their bloody work, and performed it effectively. I would have called the cops, but I don't like to get involved.
Feeling hungry? Not me.
Mmmmm. Frozen foods. I'm sure these coolers are stocked with nothing but the most trustworthy brands. I'm sure I'd have no problem feeding my kids ...
Armour brand "Sizzle&Serve" sausage links. Best served with grapes, melon, pineapple, and 20 years ago by the looks of this box. Or....
"Fast Bites" sausage biscuit. Hmmm...I'm sure there were some non-sausage items in there. I believe in truth in advertising, so I would indeed Bite this one fast, because I doubt it's going to stay in for too long. Oh, and when I said "I" in that last sentence, I meant you, because there is no chance i would let this thing within a meter of my mouth. What's that? You want more meats? Ok....
From the respected BAR-S comes "Bologna" and "Franks". Not dicey enough when processed by popular brands, these are truly the mystery meats for thrill seekers. Will I survive this meal? Will I get food poisoning? I'm like 80% sure that the S stands for "salmonella"
Stay tuned for personal care products, snacks, and the most flamboyant thing I've ever set eyes upon...
Stay tuned for personal care products, snacks, and the most flamboyant thing I've ever set eyes upon...
